“God never spelt for the light to come to pass, He speaks.”
What’s playing in your mind when you read this sentence? This is what Issey told me when we were “arguing” on the good and bad between communicating face to face and communicates by using words. Obviously, he won at the end as he used this to defeat me. =P
When I first came to KL, I still need someone to fetch me to join church activities which allow me to have many chances to talk to all the “drivers”. We had lot of times in car to talk/ share whatever we want to express it out. After I have car and I’m “growing up”, I seldom have this chance already. (Honestly, how I wish that I can car pool with them now…haha…) I had one opportunity to told Kean Hong about this when he was fetching out to meet others for dinner. I told him that it have been a long time didn’t talk to him, seem like he disappear already. Then he started to tell me his current situation and so on. (Of course, never run away from “satirizing” each other in the conversation =P) Since then, I see the importance of having good communication which allows us to know him/her more. After that day, though Kean Hong is busy, he will try to call us more often for movie or a meal, but Issey is so busy till I have no chance to talk to him also. (Please don’t get me wrong, I never blame him.) I always want to use a phrase to describe us which is “so near yet so far”, why? We are always attending the same services, same cg, same church activities yet we don’t even have time to sit down and talk to each other like last time. We are always busy talking to new friends and other members during the fellowship. When going back home that time, we only managed to say “BYE BYE”. Sometime, don’t even say it because I forget also...hahaha. =P Slowly, I realized that we only have 0.3% out of 1% friendship in us which is not good I think. I have a lot of things never share to him yet expecting him to know me, sometime don’t even want to tell him because I thought it is good for him to care for others , not me. I don’t want to add on another burden to him. I taking care of myself is enough already as long as don’t create trouble to him. Actually I was wrong. Though he is my leader, we still need to put effort in knowing each other so that we can build trust and understanding in us in order to cope well together in church and cg. Then, I start trying to email him rather than talk/ text him/ call him (don’t want to spend my money on phone call and sms. =P), but there is some problem. We might misunderstand each other because email (words) can’t fully show our expression and feeling. However, I still thinking that this is not a big problem whereby I can spell out the “sound”/ “sound effect” like “wakakaaka”, “hehehee” etc, even the face expression like @@ ; =P; =) etc..Still, it creates problem because Issey might not understand what does the face expression/ “sound” means, or he only got 30% of the meaning correctly… Just now, we were communicating with each other through email and misunderstand happened till we start this topic, arguing which is good and bad. Then, I even told him that we need to “re-introduce” ourselves to each other. At last, we ended the conversation with “let's make effort to talk more, ok? :)” and I answered “Oh..try try try....”
Communicate face to face is so important and building a relationship really need efforts no matter is building it with leader, family members, friends even your spouse. I’m still learning. From the ending question of the conversation just now, I realized that though I wish to re-build the relationship with Issey again but I never take a bigger step in order to take more to him. I just choose to email him regardless how effective is the conversation through email…I’m not willing to spend even a cent to call him yet I always say want to build the relationship. I’m so pai she to him actually. Hahaha. Anyway, I will try to include him in the conversation with other members and new friends next time. =) I have to learn to take initiative first seem he is busier than me.
I thank God that for giving me an understanding cg leader likes him who is willing to listen to my opinion, feeling and accepting my weaknesses. =) If not, I think he will scold me badly for asking him to talk to me more via email etc. haha..Mana ada orang boleh cakap macam ni dengan a busy leader, kan? =P Kalau cakap, nanti 1 senapang hala ke I loo…=P
Friends and readers please try to build relationship with your cg leader, be transparent to your cg leader. Tell and share whatever is playing in your mind; your feeling; your thinking and you will notice the differences already. =) Trust me! Put in some effort. Let’s learn together. =)
